


The art of Packaging

by DragonsinGondolin



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bagginshield's meeting anniversary, M/M, One Shot, more explanation in the notes, office!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 20:50:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3824638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonsinGondolin/pseuds/DragonsinGondolin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin Durin is the successful CEO of Lonely Mountain LTD, a thriving firm specialized in Energy and Mining based in Dale, Yorkshire. Everything goes well for him and his employees –fondly nicknamed “the company”. That is, until the ecology activist Thranduil Greenwood decides to spread false accusation on their pipeline network : the Lasgalenn. Now, Lonely Mountain needs to restore its reputation. And who else than Bilbo Baggins, called the “communicator extraordinaire” in the milieu, to do the job ?<br/>Unfortunately, Durin is not exactly fond of communication in general, on a personal and on a professional level, and their working together is probably not going to run smoothly … especially seeing how Baggins doesn’t seem incline to coward in front of the CEO, a feat he would be the first in many years to accomplish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The art of Packaging

Thorin Durin -nicknamed Oakenshield by his best friend Dwalin, who swears the story behind it is a good one, although everybody has heard it a thousand times and certainly don’t want to hear it for the thousand-and-first time, thank you very much- was the CEO of Lonely Mountain LTD, a mining and energy company based in Dale, Yorkshire.

Now, Lonely Mountain was a thriving firm and its employees, fondly referred to as the Company, were very much like one big family. It mined and transformed good products, had a good policy and fair wages, and allowed the city around to prosper greatly.

The only tiny, tiny, problem, was their communication. It was the most influential and the richest firm of the region, perhaps of the whole country, but nobody knew that. For the average citizen, Lonely Mountain didn’t even exist, its production non existent in the market in its final, branded, form. Oh, they knew they had gas and energy to warm their houses, light their oven and barbecues, and put into their cars. Those slightly aware of technology had heard of the revolutionary reactor called Arkenstone, powered by geothermic energy. But, to be fair, nobody could put their names on those things, as valuable and essential in their lives as it was.

 

Worse then that, their image had been seriously scorned in the past year, when Thranduil Greenwood, lawyer -Balin chose not to comment on how good a lawyer the man actually was, but everybody could easily read it in his face anyway- and ecologist activist had decided to spread lies about them. Not that the Company didn’t care for ecology, they did as a matter of fact. The Arkenstone reactor had actually helped replace about 68 percent of the coal-fuelled energy in the north of England, including Yorkshire. No, it was just that Thranduil had the amazing skill –an inspiration, truly- of getting on everybody’s nerves the second he opened his mouth. The simple fact that nobody wants to listen to you when you look down on them as if you possess the ultimate truth seemed to totally elude him.

Unfortunately for Lonely Mountain LTD, people seemed to listen to Thranduil, this time. Read that authorities, both local and national, and potential private investors, suddenly turned chilly at the idea of dealing with them after Thranduil had began claiming –loudly and without waiting for any explanation or proof- that their pipeline network, the Lasgalenn, was a threat to the local ecosystem. It had been around fifteen months since the incident, but they were just slowly gaining back the trust of their business partners. It wasn’t enough. They still had trouble gaining more, and energy was a field which requested constant investment.

Balin had been firm : they needed to work on their communication. Which led to this whole ordeal.

 

Thorin Durin was not amused, Balin could tell as much. A short survey conducted on his employees and relatives would probably tell you that Thorin Durin was not much amused in general, but this was different. This was even worse.

Truth being told, he had never understood the point of communication. If they did their job well, created good products and thriving economy for the citizen, and fair work opportunities and living conditions for their employees and their families, then who cared about being recognized ? What was it going to change for them that John Smith from Manchester knew about their firm and what it did ? As long as the man had his energy in his home, Thorin always said that he didn’t care much for who provided it. Therefor, the idea of spending their resources on advertising themselves was, as far as he was concerned, a huge waste of time, energy, and money. Beside, people working in communication always annoyed the living hell out of him, with their ideas about how to do everything, even when they didn’t have a clue, as if they owned the place.

But Balin had spoken, and Thorin valued his council greatly, which led Thorin Durin to hire a communication expert. The best of them all, a partner and old friend had assured him. One Bilbo Baggins, whose expertise was apparently highly praised across the country. But Balin knew that Thorin would still see him as a joke, unfortunately.

 

The man was short. Well, everybody was next to Thorin, to be honest. But this man in particular was a great deal shorter than most people Balin had met in his life. But what he lacked in height, he sure as hell compensated by his really flamboyant outfit. Oh, dear. Balin could read Thorin’s thoughts in his eyes. It didn’t take a really observant person to understand what was going on in his mind.

“Sweet Mahal almighty, was this even legal ? The brownish corduroy should definitively not have been associated with the dark crimson and vivid yellow vine pattern of the waistcoat. And who still wore a waistcoat like this nowadays, for crying out loud ? Not to mention the handkerchief pocking from the breast pocket. Was he real, or was he the living embodiment of Thorin’s worst fashion nightmare coming to haunt him ? And this was suppose to be their communication consultant ? With these clothes ? Illuvatar have mercy on their poor souls.”

 

Balin wasn’t amused either. But it wasn’t because of the expert’s clothes. No, he was actually livid because of Thorin’s stone expression and haughty looks as the CEO looked down at their new employee. ‘Get yer shit together, lad’, he wanted to sigh, but settled for shaking his head instead, as the consultant was sitting there, in the meeting room, fidgeting with the hem of his waistcoat under the piercing stare of their boss.

 

“So … this is the consultant.”

 

Thorin’s voice was matter-of-factly, but Balin recognised the tiny note of wonder and sarcasm which could only mean one thing : he was doubting their new employee’s skill and purpose. His following question didn’t leave any doubt that this was exactly what he felt.

 

“Tell me, master communicator … What do you know of the mining industry ?”

“Hm, I don’t think,” the man tried to defend himself before being cut by Thorin.

“What is your opinion on energy ? geothermic or oil ?”

 

Baggins shot their boss a nasty look, and answered in a rather annoyed voice.

 

“My house is powered by the solar energy, if you must know. But I fail to see how all of this is relevant.”

“Thought as much,” the answer came, actually not answering in the slightest.

 

Balin was close to banging his head on the wooden table while groaning in frustration. Why must his friend always be so difficult and childish around new people ? He was like a really grumpy kitten lurking at people coming to its owner’s house from the top of a cupboard, and jumping on their heads at the weirdest moments. It was sincerely annoying, especially coming from an actual human who was supposed to control this kind of temperamental urges. May Mahal give Balin the strength to deal with all of this.

The man seemed offended, and Balin couldn’t blame him. Here he was, Bilbo Baggins, ‘communicator extraordinaire’ as people in his field, as well as other people for whom he had worked, tended to call him, sitting in the meeting room of some obscure northern firm and being looked down at. No, Balin could really not blame him for being wounded. He would have been too. He cleared his throat, attracting the man’s attention.

 

“It is really generous of you to accept our offer, mister Baggins.”

 

He tried to ignore Thorin’s snort and gave Bilbo his best smile, the ‘friendly grandpa’ one, which seemed to appease him slightly.

 

“I guess you read the files I sent you ?”

“Of course.”

“Good. Then you understand our current position, and our need to work on our firm’s image.”

“Indeed.”

 

Baggins was still wounded by Thorin’s attitude, if his closed expression and short abrupt answers were any indication. But, at least, he hadn’t stormed out of the room yet, and the contract he had signed was still resting unharmed in front of him. It was already more than what Balin had hoped before entering the room. He had half expected the man to take one look at Thorin’s constipated expression, and slam his fist at his face before leaving to catch the first train back to London. Sure, mister Baggins seemed a little too short to actually reach Thorin’s face, but he also seemed more than able to handle the CEO’s ‘charming’ personality. Balin looked with curiosity as the consultant stared back at Thorin, the two of them glaring at each other but not bulging a bit, obviously refusing to let the other win the implicit contest. If the future of the firm had not been at stake, Balin would probably have been deeply amused by the resistance Baggins was showing in front of their leader. Damn, it had been a while since someone had dared squaring his shoulders and stare back at Thorin Durin like this. Most people were looking at the table without making a sound, probably praying for the meeting to be over. But Bilbo Baggins didn’t seem ready to bow down to His Majesty Grumpy-Cat. Well.

All things considered, it could prove to be interesting. If the two men could work without tearing at each other’s throat, that is.

 

\--

 

This was … absolutely frustrating, but also damn hilarious. Three days into their collaboration with Bilbo Baggins, and Thorin had managed to insult the man, directly or not and with more or less sarcasm, eighteen times so far. Was it bad to actually wish he could smack their esteemed leader on the head ? That would probably not make him employee of the month.

Bofur Miner had to admit that he appreciated the consultant. The man was nice, obviously competent in his field, and he had responded with equal humour and spirit to Bofur’s jokes once he had understood that it was his way of welcoming people. Bilbo didn’t seem afraid to speak his mind, especially when the CEO made it clear that he didn’t want to hear it. There was a sort of mouse and cat game going on, but it wasn’t exactly clear which one was the feline, and which one the rodent, despite what the two men’s sizes and looks could lead to believe. Bilbo Baggins didn’t look ready to be eaten whole quite so easily. It was so enjoyable to witness.

 

Sitting at his desk, his hallmark trapper hat firmly planted on his head, he was pretending to tap on his keyboard. Pretending only. All of the member of the Company gathered in the vast open space of the top floor, himself included, were indeed way more interested in casting pointed looks through the glass wall of their boss’s office. Thorin was probably regretting the idea of all this “open wide space so everybody can interact with each other quickly and efficiently”. They were all so obvious that it would take a blind man to miss them staring, which Thorin was certainly not, on the contrary. He caught his cousin Bifur’s eye, and the man started signing frantically.

 

*Guy has some steal nerves. Thorin won’t scare this one off.*

“Yeah. Thorin looks like he swallowed a whole lemon,” he answered.

“Good thing. He bloody well needs to be reminded that not everybody has to follow his orders.”

 

And that was Dwalin. The bald man was reading a file, the delicate glasses on the bridge of his nose a huge contrast with the massive runic tattoos on his biceps and neck. People were always weirded out by the contrast between the man’s external behaviour and who he actually was inside. Well, Dwalin did look threatening most of the time but, truth be told, it was mostly because he had trust issues, and tended to scare off people who could turn out to be mean. He was working on that. The Company knew better, though. The perks of having known each others for a long time.

Funnily enough, Bilbo Baggins had seemed to look past this appearance relatively quickly. The first day, after he had been introduced to the Company’s members, he had clearly been impressed by Dwalin, and had spent a certain amount of time watching the man carefully. But on the next day, his caution had vanished, and the two of them were spotted talking and smiling widely at each other in the breakroom. Which probably explained why Thorin didn’t take his usual morning coffee that day, and instead locked himself in his office to pound over paperwork with a sour expression on his face. Dwalin was his best friend after all, and he seemed to take his welcoming Bilbo like a personal offense. Thorin tended to take everything as a personal offense, to be fair to Dwalin.

 

Bofur turned back to his intense staring at his boss’s office. The conversation seemed animated. Balin was sitting in the corner, looking absolutely frustrated, while Thorin and Bilbo were clearly throwing sarcastic punch-lines and comments at each other. Delightful, truly. If only they were allowed to smoke inside, it would be absolutely perfect. Oh, and maybe being able to hear exactly what they were saying.

 

They kept staring at the three silhouettes until the consultant exited the room, stomping with a surprising force given the man’s petite stature, followed by a clearly embarrassed Balin muttering at him –probably some apology on Thorin’s behalf. The lawyer then stopped at the door, watching Bilbo cross the space while shaking his head, before retreating into his own office. Nobody dared utter a word, pretending to work instead, as the man crossed the open space to relocate himself in the meeting room.

Bilbo looked furious, his nose twitching in what Bofur had understood was a sign of frustration and nervosity. What had Thorin told him ? Oh … being a little mouse in the office to witness the –without any doubt epic- confrontation. He nibbled at the tip of his pen pensively, eyes still focused on the door to the meeting room. He was curious to see how things would end.

 

\--

 

“Your boss has some nerve !”

 

Bilbo Baggins was pacing in the meeting room, eyes dark, while Gloin was looking at him, trying his best not to facepalm because of his boss’s idiocy. Bilbo had told him what happened, huffing and snorting, after Gloin had expressed his concern. He obviously needed to vent out to someone, and the accountant was more than willing to oblige.

 

“Calling me a … a grocer, of all things.”

“He probably didn’t mean it like this, laddie.”

 

The sarcastic eyebrow that the consultant raised at him silenced him.

 

“What is his problem ? One would believe that my expertise will help you, and here I am, being insulted for three days straight as if I was … selling buttons at the door.”

 

Gloin let a deep sigh escape him.

 

“Let’s say that Thorin doesn’t understand the necessity of communicating.”

“No, really ?” came the reply, “and it is my problem, because … ?”

“It shouldn’t be you problem to deal with, that I agree with you on. But … well, Thorin likes to make his opinion known, as you can see. And there’s nothing any of us can do to stop it. He is the boss, in the end.”

“Yes, right, but then why did he hire me ?”

 

Another sigh, before Gloin answered.

 

“We did need to work on our communication, Balin made it really clear to him. Then, an acquaintance of his told us you were probably the best man for the job, and it did sound like a great opportunity.”

“Oh,” the man frowned, “Wait, who gave you my name ?”

“A man called Gandalf Grey.”

“Right, I see.”

 

And Bilbo should have known, really. Who else than Gandalf to make sure he was hired in an industrial firm so far from his home whose CEO was adverse to his kind. It was his turn to sigh, this time, and he turned to the window to have something else than the accountant to look at.

 

“And what did he say, exactly ?”

 

Gloin took his time to think, and perhaps to choose his words, before answering.

 

“That you were exactly the person we needed and that,” he hesitated, and Bilbo hold his breath, “that it would be most amusing. Although I’m not sure exactly what he meant by that.”

 

Bilbo closed his eyes. The old bastard.

 

“I think it’s pretty much self-explanatory.”

 

Gandalf saw a good occasion to have a bit of fun at someone else’s expense and he took it. But he left this part unsaid, not wanting Gloin to think him ungrateful. He was grateful. Gandalf had been really helpful to him ever since he had started his communication school. Having your mom’s college best friend working in the field helped, and Gandalf seemed to know everyone important. Bilbo was grateful, yes. Unfortunately, Gandalf didn’t seem to take a lot of things seriously, and his resulted in him favouring the “fun potential” in jobs over more reasonable things, like the paid, the safety, and the absence of danger for one’s reputation. Bilbo had made it this far thanks to Gandalf’s little pushes here and there, but it could have been so much worse, given the nature of some of those jobs. He was almost certain that he had survived a lot of them –mostly- unharmed thanks to his own skill, and that his career had been on the verge of ending abruptly more than once if not for it.

But this wasn’t the point. What was done was done and couldn’t be changed. Gandalf had indirectly managed to trick him into heading up north, and that was it. He had accepted the job, didn’t he ? On his own, signing the contract with his own pen like a responsible grown up. Apparently, he didn’t need Gandalf breathing down his neck to make the final decision of launching himself into a job where he wasn’t really wanted.

Well, no, he was wanted, in a way. By most of the Company, anyway. But not by their boss, which was inconvenient, wasn’t it ? He turned back to the accountant, chewing on his lower lip. Well, if Durin didn’t want to help make it run smoothly, he would have to do without him. At some point, the job needed to be done. He just hoped that the man wouldn’t make it more difficult than it already was.

 

\--

 

Difficult was indeed how it went. But it was too simple a world to describe the whole debacle, in fact. Dori Rydder was tempted to add “awkward” and “frustrating” to complete it. The first month of Bilbo working with them had been relatively peaceful, compared to their current situation.

After the consultant had decided to downright ignore their boss’s general negativity to work solely with the assistance of the rest of the Company, it had been a pleasure, even. Bilbo was such a nice person to be around, and he had gotten along well with all of them pretty easily –even that big oaf of Dwalin, if you can imagine, partly because he had gotten that the bald man was indeed a friendly fellow once you had gained his trust, true, but also by bribing him with warm delicious cookies. On that point, his and Dori’s minds were much alike. He, too, though that the best way to someone’s heart was through good food … and polite company, which the communication expert was also good at. Well, it was his job, after all. And what exquisite handkerchief the man possessed. But it was beside the point.

Yes, the first month had been great. Thorin did lock himself into his office more, and they could see him staring at them angrily like a very disappointed and ignored tomcat every now and then, but Bilbo’s job -and theirs, by extension- had been greatly improved by the distinctive absence of Lord Short-Tempered hovering over them. But it had taken a massive turn pretty fast.

 

Now, it wasn’t a secret that the Durin family had been a hugely rich family, and that they had produced a certain amount of golden boys through its history. The late Frerin Durin, brother dear of their esteemed CEO, had been exactly that -as kind and honest in his intentions he had been- before he died. Sometimes, it looked as if half of the family consisted in hard working stuck-up grumps, while the other half was purely mischief-making hedonists. There was no in-between with the Durin family. And the latest examples of the second category were none other than Fili and Kili, sons of Dis and nephews of Thorin. Or, as the blogosphere and trash newspapers liked to call them : Goldilocks and Snow White.

They had gone viral thanks to their vines. Now, Dori couldn’t exactly pretend he knew how those things worked, but as his siblings had been adamant that they were hilarious, perfectly constructed, and a lot more positive things, he tended to believe that their success was earned. But the vines had been nothing compared to the huge success of their Instagram profile. Pictures of their lives, studies, and parties at the University had become The Thing.

More than that, the youth had become influential and positive voices for their generation. Kili had struck gold in dating Tauriel Sylvan, Rhovanions’s new favourite athlete and documenting the young woman’s training and exploits, but he also managed to tackle down many sexist prejudices with wit and talent –don’t you feel less manly, dating a woman taller and stronger than you ? Can a woman athlete truly be sexy ? What a butch, I guess you’re just her beard ? were amongst the recurring cliché Kili had answered with a delightful no-bullshit-taking attitude. Then, Fili’s coming out as bisexual via purposely wearing it on a tee-shirt in one of his pictures, later completed by a deeply emotional youtube video, had been absolutely glorious.

 

Dori was pretty much sure that Thorin was actually really proud of them. But their carefree attitude when they came visiting him led him to play grumpy uncle who isn’t amused, to which the young adults answered with even more sass and jokes. And that was exactly the reason why things went south.

Fili and Kili had come to the office on a lovely sunny afternoon, with the original purpose of bothering their uncle and drag him across the street to buy them milkshakes –an activity Thorin always said should have stopped after they turned twelve, but he was actually ecstatic to do, let’s be real. This goal had changed slightly when they entered the lobby where Thorin and Bilbo had been bickering about something totally random but which, for some reason, they had decided to use as an excuse to get on each other’s nerves. Of course, they had to decide that bringing “Mister Boggins” with them and Thorin to the café would be amazing. And, of course, by some twisted turn of fate, they had managed to achieve said goal.

 

 

“So, Mister Boggins,” Kili had cheerfully started when they were sat in front of their orders. “You’re working on uncle’s communication, then ?”

“Well, not your uncle’s. The firm’s. But, yes. And it’s Baggins.”

“Yes, of course. Anyway … whatever you’re doing, I’m sure it’ll be great,” Fili answered, purposely ignoring his uncle’s sarcastic huff, “It can’t be worse than what it currently is, after all.”

“Now, listen here …”

 

But Kili interrupted his uncle with an excited wave.

 

“Yes, Uncle’s not really good at communication, right ? I mean, he always looks like he’s annoyed, so that doesn’t help much.”

 

At this point, Thorin had given up defending himself against his nephews, and was sipping his passion-fruit and coconut smoothie with an exasperated expression. Bilbo was giving him side glances, not sure how to react to the young men’s talking. They were speaking in a hurried, excited, pace, not minding in the slightest if Thorin appreciated being talked about as if he wasn’t present, nor whether Bilbo was actually listening or not. The consultant realized quickly that they probably did that a lot, and decided to endure it stoically, just like Thorin did.

 

“But it’s good that you’re helping. Now, if you could help uncle improve his personal communication, too, that would be perfect,” Kili uttered with a big smile.

“Yeah, I mean,” his brother added, “I’m sure there’s something you could do … he’s not that desperate a case.”

“If you, of all people can’t …”

“… and given that you’re exactly his type, maybe he would listen to you …”

“Then I don’t know who can.”

 

Bilbo interrupted them, holding his hands up.

 

“Listen boys, I’m glad you have faith in me, but,” he stopped suddenly, “What do you mean ‘his type’ ?”

 

Thorin seemed to awake from his reflection too, and breathed in a warning tone.

 

“Boys !”

“Well, he does have a thing for short guys and …”

“YOU SHUT UP !”

 

The other clients, and the baristas, were all looking at them with wide eyes, and even Fili and Kili who usually seemed to like attention, were looking a bit uncomfortable with this one. Eventually, Thorin noticed the looks on them too, and had left the coffee shop in a storm of black suit and negative feelings radiating from his body in waves.

 

 

The encounter had been told by a slightly awkward Fili, who didn’t know why and how things went wrong exactly. Dori had tried to explain calmly to him that, although Fili himself had been really open in his feelings and attractions, not everybody wanted to be outed like that in public, and especially not by someone else and without their consent. Fili had nodded solemnly, but it was clear that he still didn’t understand exactly why it was such a big deal. Dori had given up trying to explain and had poured himself another cup of tea to prevent the headache that was bound to come.

Beside, Dori thought, telling Baggins that he was their uncle’s type wasn’t exactly a sensible thing to do. How did they know that, anyway ? Whether or not it was true wasn’t the point, though. It was just not the kind of things you went saying in front of a stranger, who also happens to be your uncle’s firm’s consultant. Dori was seriously wondering where those two had been raised, really. He had been under the impression that Dis would teach her sons better, but he guessed one can never know for sure.

They were good kids, though. They certainly meant well. But most of the time, they were talking without really thinking of the consequences. They were still young, they would learn eventually.

 

It didn’t change the fact that this little event changed a lot of things afterward. Of course, the rumours on what had happened had filled the whole Company, and given how bad they all were at keeping secrets, it soon became obvious that everybody knew, and that they were all making jokes and comments about it. Some of them just shrugged and worked as always, only casting a few looks at Thorin or Bilbo whenever they were around, but Bofur and –he was ashamed to admit it- his own brother Nori, were absolutely rubbish at minding their own businesses. Dori was almost certain that his brother and Gloin had started bets, but he couldn’t swear it.

If Thorin didn’t appreciate the consultant before, he probably hated him at this point. Dori sighed and turned back to his work. Mahal have mercy for those idiots.

 

\--

 

Thorin didn’t hate the consultant, as a matter of fact. And that was the problem, really. Dwalin would bet a lot of money on his intuition that Fili and Kili had not been far from the truth when they said that the consultant was their uncle’s type. Well, Dwalin knew for a fact, as he was the man’s best friend, that he did have a thing for short guys. But he started to think that maybe there was more to Thorin’s initial hatred for Baggins than his vague absence of interest for communication in general. You don’t start disliking someone just because you find no interest in their jobs. Or you have a serious superiority complex. Which Thorin didn’t have, no matter what people tended to think. No, he was almost certain that Thorin felt a tiny little something for their consultant. Or maybe more that a tiny little something. Something that he had probably tried his best to ignore and label as annoyance at the man, but had exploded at his own face when his nephew had pointed it out loud. Oh boy.

And thus, Thorin had started looking absolutely miserable since that day. The angry expression he was trying hard to put on his own face to conceal anything else didn’t fool anyone, except maybe Baggins who didn’t know him as well as they did.

 

Bofur, Oin, and him were sitting at their desks. The others were on their lunch break, but they had staid to finish some work. And, of course, they were casting glances at their boss, still locked up in his office and eating a sandwich while reading some paper. Dwalin could feel the frown from here, and it was giving him a headache. Oin was chewing on his pen, trying to trick them into thinking that he was reading his report, but really, he was as bad as them. Bofur, on the other hand, was not even trying to hide his curiosity.

 

“So … when is he going to do something about it ?”

“We’re talking about Thorin here,” Dwalin snorted, “He won’t do anything that involves baring his feelings and act on them.”

“And then … what’s going to happen ?”

“Probably nothing. He’ll give himself an ulcer, shout some more at the consultant, and then the man’s damn job will be over and he’ll leave, back to London.”

“That’s depressing.”

“Aye.”

 

Oin, blissfully unaware of their chatting due to him being deaf and not currently wearing his earing aid, was still casting quick looks to Thorin’s office. Good to know they were all concerned by their boss’s lack of social grace. Bofur was twisting the end of his moustache, visibly deep in his thinking. A minute or two passed before he finally voiced the result of it.

 

“Oh, come on ! It can’t be that bad. I mean, can’t you just … ignore it and focus on something else ?”

“Well, Bofur, some of us do have a sex drive and want to do more than just talk and make jokes about it.”

“Oh, right.”

“Not that Thorin talks about it much, though.”

“Nope.”

 

This was followed by a deep sigh coming from them as they continued their boss-spying mission.

 

\--

 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake ! Thorin and Bilbo need to get their shit together. And maybe, maybe, we should do something about that.”

 

Nori had been amongst the first in the company to insist on calling the consultant by his first name, followed closely by Bofur, than Balin. He didn’t care much for property and social conventions, after all, and if the man was going to work with them for a few months, he might as well help him feel welcome. If Thorin wasn’t going to act on his feelings and ask the man out, Nori was certainly not going to sit on his butt and allow him to chicken out. Not if he could help it. Which he was very much going to try and do.

 

“Don’t be silly, Nori. It’s theirs to sort out, not ours.”

 

Ori looked up from his book, not looking much impressed by his brother’s idea. But Nori liked to argue, and he liked to poke his nose into other people’s business. Especially Thorin’s. He always got frustrated and it was funny to watch.

 

“I don’t think I can endure another Friday morning’s meeting with those two fighting when it’s obvious that all they want is to bang the other on the table.”

“Nori ! Mahal almighty !”

 

Ori closed his book and put it carefully on the table, giving his brother a hard stare.

 

“It is none of your business. Yes, it is frustrating to witness, but no, it has nothing to do with us. Beside,” he added, shaking his head, “you don’t know about mister Baggins’s feelings on the matter. We know for Thorin’s, sure enough, but we have no right to assume anything. Maybe he doesn’t want to have anything to do with Thorin for all we know. We have no right to push it onto him.”

 

Always the voice of reason, Ori was, bless his little soul. But Nori could feel it. Granted, he didn’t know Bilbo much, but he praised himself for being quite good at reading people, and he was absolutely certain that the feelings of their CEO were mutual. One look at Bilbo’s eyes –which tended to fall on various unrespectable parts of their leader’s anatomy- was enough to tell him. Alternatively, Nori had to say that the unconscious vocabulary and idioms picked by the consultant when speaking to and about the CEO, was enough to make him groan internally at how obvious the shorter man was. How could nobody else not see that ? It was plain as the nose in the middle of his face.

 

“Nori. Please tell me you’re not going to do anything.”

 

He turned to his younger brother with a little smile.

 

“Me, Ori dear ? Why would I do anything like that ?”

 

Ori groaned in exasperation, but picked up his book again. Nori was scratching his jaw pensively. Certainly, something could be done about this. He would be damned if he didn’t try.

 

\--

 

“Where are my papers for the presentation ?”

 

It was Friday morning, and the consultant had marched into Thorin’s office without even bothering to knock, which for him was probably the lowest form of manners possible. He was now looking at Thorin with his hallmark nose-twitching move, waiting for an answer. Bombur wasn’t sure whether he should stand up and leave them together, or if he shouldn’t move and pretend he wasn’t there. He decided to stay where he was when Thorin turned to look at him briefly, his stare fierce enough to pin him down to his chair.

 

“What papers ?”

“The papers for my presentation. I left them in the meeting room yesterday evening, and now they’re missing. Oin told me that you usually keep the key with you, so please : where are my papers ?”

 

Thorin was looking at Bilbo like he had grown a second head, and Bombur was more and more considering making a run for his life. He sincerely had no will to stay in the room if they were going to fight. The expert was clearly impatient to get his answer, as his foot –rather large for most people’s standards, if you asked Bombur- was stomping the floor angrily.

 

“Well ?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about. There was …”

“Oh, what now ?”

 

Thorin closed his eyes and breathed down his nose to calm down his temper.

 

“There was no paper in the meeting room when I opened it this morning.”

“Really ?”

“I swear to Mahal, mister communicator.”

“Then where would they be ? They didn’t exactly flew off now, did they ?”

“And why would I know ?”

 

Bilbo groaned, pulling at the hem of his jacket. He obviously didn’t believe Thorin. Or maybe he was just beyond frustrated and desperately wanted answers.

 

“Listen Thorin ! I know you doubt the necessity of my job, and that you doubt me, too. And it’s ok. I understand you have your reservation on this. I had no intention to make this personal, I’m above that.”

 

He stepped closer to the desk, his hands on its surface to look at Thorin directly in the eyes.

 

“But if you want to turn this into a childish game and start messing with my work, then I guess I’ll have to start taking it personally.”

 

Thorin opened his mouth indignantly, and Bombur was almost certain he was going to slap the consultant. Luckily, he didn’t, though his hand turned into a dangerous fist around his pen. He was visibly making a huge effort to stay polite, and the rotund ginger had to give him that.

 

“Mister Baggins, I assure you that I have nothing to do with …”

“They didn’t walk away by themselves, Thorin, and you,” he actually pocked at Thorin’s chest, “are the only one with a key.”

 

Bombur had to admit that the man had a point. But why would Thorin do that ? That is the question. But Baggins was already walking to the door, spitting his terrible threat.

 

“You’ll have war ? Then so be it ! And don’t think that your good looks will stop me.”

 

And with that, he was out of the room, and they were watching him walk through the open space just as the other members of the Company did. It took them a few seconds to actually process his last sentence.

 

“What ?” exclaimed Bombur.

“What ?” echoed Thorin.

 

\--

 

Ashamed was too weak a word to describe how Ori was feeling. None of the word he could think of seemed strong enough, to be honest.

They had all heard what had happened in Thorin’s office, they had all witnessed the angry stare, pocking, and heard the words uttered. They had all looked at each other at a loss of what to say, to do, or to even think. But Ori knew. Oh, yes, he knew perfectly well what had happened exactly. Memories of his brother escorted to their home by cops after having broken into a house or office again, and of an exasperated Dori not knowing what to do to make him understand how bad what he had done was, had flickered in his mind suddenly. Of course, Nori had to do something. Something that involved his knowledge of illegality. Killing your sibling wasn’t exactly legal either, right ? But at least, Ori could do something to salvage what could still be saved.

 

He quietly entered the breakroom and took a moment to look at Bilbo, who was pacing in the kitchen-space, a cup of coffee in hand.

 

“Bilbo ? There is something I need to tell you.”

“Yes Ori ?” came the reply sign.

“I think we should sit down.”

 

The more Ori explained to the consultant what had exactly happened, and where his notes had disappeared, the more he could see Bilbo’s face getting paler and paler. The embarrassment he was exuding was painful to watch. Ori had to fight the urge to wince when he got to the part where Nori had broken into the meeting room, after everybody had gone home, like a thief in the night, to steal the papers, and closing it behind him to make it look like someone else, someone with a key, had taken them. He was almost certain that Bilbo was on the verge of fainting, and faltered in his tale a few times, but the expert had prompted him to continue, dismissing his concern with a wave. Oh dear, Ori was going to kill Nori.

All the second hand embarrassment he was feeling for his brother, the consultant, but also Thorin –who had received a severe talk-down, let’s not forget- was overwhelming. He was fidgeting, pulling at his knitted mittens, but he bravely kept going, watching with horror as the realisation of what he had done was downing on Bilbo’s brain full force.

 

“But why would Nori do that ?”

 

Ori considered telling Bilbo the true reason behind this, and by extension about the Company’s shipping club, but he decided to stand by his previous position regarding all of this. It wasn’t theirs to pry into their boss’s love life, nor to force it on the poor consultant. After all, Bilbo would go back to London at some point, and Thorin would stay here. Even if there was something, and that the feelings were mutual, what more would it bring ? Probably nothing.

 

“I … believe it’s a prank. Nori does that, sometimes … when he gets bored. He doesn’t mean ill, really, it’s his way to show you that you’re part of the team. In a wicked way, but still.”

“Oh. Oh, all right then.”

 

He stared into the void for a moment, and Ori could almost see his thoughts forming, as if they were projected onto his forehead. Sure enough, he finally stated.

 

“I guess I’ll have to apologize to Thorin, now.”

 

Ori nodded, and Bilbo passed his hand on his face, mentally preparing himself for what was coming. Ori couldn’t blame him for being a bit worried.

 

\--

 

Thorin had given up on hiding in his locked office. As soon as Baggins had crossed the open space to retreat into the breakroom, Thorin had done the same, but with the storage room. He was probably fed up with everybody spying on him through the glass. Unfortunately, he had missed the fact that Bifur was already in the room, for the man had been hidden by a tall shelf. Bifur wondered if he should make his presence known, but it soon became apparent that it wouldn’t be a good idea. Thorin had let himself sink onto the floor, back on the wall, and was obviously trying to calm his breathing. Not one to intrude on other’s people space, and knowing all too well how it felt like to break down, he staid exactly where he was, prepared to spend some time standing still. What a life.

It took Thorin some time to finally calm down, and Bifur was tempted to get out of his hiding to try and cheer him up. But, once again, his attempt was stopped before it began. The door opened slowly, and Bifur recognized almost immediately the floral cologne of their consultant. Oh dear, we are in trouble. If they were to start shouting at each other again, he would march out without a second thought. But no, Baggins’s voice sounded collected, if not slightly embarrassed, when he spoke.

 

“Thorin, I … I owe you an apology.”

 

A tiny shift indicated that Thorin had sat up straighter, probably out of pride. It was bad enough to be found sitting on the floor of a storage room, wasn’t it ? Meanwhile, Baggins was trying to speak the words he meant to say.

 

“I … have made the assumption that you took my papers, and was rude to come to you to accuse you, and to dismiss your explanation. I have learnt since that someone else took my notes as a prank, and …”

“It’s all right, mister Baggins.”

“But…”

“No, no, I understand. I was the ideal suspect. Always ready to make you feel unwanted, always dismissing your work. It made sense, I suppose.”

 

Bilbo stomped his foot on the floor lightly.

 

“Still, it didn’t give me the right to accuse you, let alone shout and threaten you.”

“Think nothing of it…”

“God, Thorin, can’t you just let me apologize without trying to have the last word ?”

 

Bifur had to admit that he had a point. There was a moment of silence, before Thorin’s voice answered simply.

 

“Sorry. You are right.”

“Yes, I … Well. I am sorry. It wasn’t a proper way to react, and I … uh … hope we can just forget this ever happened.”

 

Thorin’s voice was so light when he answered then that Bifur wondered if he had imagined it.

 

“I don’t think I want to forget it.”

“Oh. Well, uh. You have every right to … I guess. But I hope we can … at least go back to working. Um.”

“There is no way I’m going to forget that”

“Yes ? Well, I heard you the first time, Thorin… I think you can stop now.”

“Mister Baggins,” he paused briefly, “don’t think that your good looks will stop me.”

 

Mahal on a tricycle. Baggins’s breathing seemed to stop for a moment. The air was thick with embarrassment, Bifur could feel it constricting around him.

 

“Oh, no. I was hoping I had not said that out loud.”

 

Thorin started laughing. A huge, deep rumble first, and then a loud bark. Something that was only reserved to his sister and her sons’ shenanigans.

 

“This is not funny, Thorin !”

 

But the CEO couldn’t stop, and Bilbo huffed before joining him. What it seemed like to their co workers in the open space, Bifur didn’t want to imagine. Soon, Thorin’s breathing turned short, and he had to calm down again.

 

“I don’t want to forget that, no.”

“Damn,” Baggins sighed “And here I was, praising myself on being good in communication.”

“You are good at communication.”

“Why, thank you.”

“Which still doesn’t mean that I see the point of it, mind you.”

“Too bad,” the consultant replied “you were starting to sound as good as you are looking.”

“Cheeky.”

 

What was happening ? Bifur was growing tired of standing still, but this was rather fascinating, he had to admit. It has been a long time since he had seen his boss so open and flirty. Maybe he did learn a few things from the consultant, after all ?

 

“Tell me, mister Baggins…”

“Bilbo.”

“Right, Bilbo. Would you … I mean … do you want a coffee ?”

“I … just had one, actually. But…”

“No, coffee… well not necessarily coffee. I mean …”

“Thorin.”

“Yes ?”

“I’d love to take a coffee with you, yes. Stop fretting.”

“Oh, right.”

 

This was almost surreal. After weeks of almost strangling each other every time they were in the same room, all the tension seemed to have vanished in a matter of seconds. Also, he owed Nori money, now. If the man was getting out of this alive, that is. Because Bifur had no doubt that he was responsible for this whole mess. Who else could sneak into the meeting room to steal papers as a prank ? Or was it a prank ? Maybe he could keep his money, if it turned out that Nori had done it on purpose. It was clearly against the rules. Yes, he could give it a try.

 

“So … hm … shall we ?”

“Lead the way.”

 

He heard the ruffling of clothes as Thorin stood up, followed by the sound of the door opening and closing. Damn, that was … something. He scratched his head pensively, fingertips lingering on the scar on his forehead. He just hoped they would gain some peace, now that those two morons had stopped their tiptoeing.

 

\--

 

Oin put the last of the boxes on the desk, smiling broadly at Bilbo while signing.

 

*Everything’s here.*

“Thank you, Oin,” the consultant replied, turning to him to make sure he could read his lips. “It’s nice of you to have helped me.”

*Not a problem. Need help organizing ?*

“No, thank you. I’ll do it at my own pace.”

 

Oin nodded as the man was setting two frame on the desk, a picture of three young kids with toothy grins, and another of two older people –probably his parents, given their looks.

He went to sit at his how desk, still considering Bilbo. To be completely honest, he had been sure that Bilbo would go back to London as soon as his job was over. Their advertising campaign launched, website and booklets designed, he had been ready to say goodbye to their consultant. But the man had yet another surprise for them. Standing awkwardly next to Thorin on their supposedly last Friday morning meeting, he had made the unexpected announcement. Thorin had asked him to stay with them, offering him to come work with them in a more permanent way. Everybody had cheered, but also been stunned, remembering how their work relationship had started. Though, seeing how it had evolved, it shouldn’t have surprised them, really. The way they both looked at each other after their revelation, there was no mystery as to what had prompted such an offer. They were so disgustingly sweet sometimes. Most of the time. When they weren’t bickering about something.

Now, Bilbo was sitting at his desk in the open space, that was officially his for times to come, and not just rented, and Thorin was looking at him through his office’s window, absolutely obvious. Not that he seemed to care these days. Bilbo looked up to meet his eyes, smiling back at the goofy idiot. From the corner of his eye, he saw Dwalin looking at his watch, obviously counting the seconds. Less than a minute after, Thorin exited his office and walked to Bilbo, a shy smile on his face.

 

“Good morning, Bilbo.”

“Good morning, Thorin.”

 

Oh, Mahal save them from those two idiots.

 

“Would you like a coffee ?”

“You know what ?” the expert answered with a smile, “I’d rather have a milkshake. What do you think ?”

“Milkshake it is, then.”

 

Bilbo grabbed his jacket, while Thorin looked at him as if unicorns were coming out of his very ears, and they made their way to the staircases, pretending not to see as Bofur was passing money to Dwalin. Dori and Balin were nodding with dreamy eyes, like two very proud grandpa getting emotional over their grandson’s first crush.

 

All was well.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi folks ! This is the reason why I didn't update my other fic(s) this week. I decided to write this for the anniversary of Bilbo and Thorin's meeting (see more about it [here](http://anunexpectedanniversary.tumblr.com/)). My tumblr is [here](http://dragonsingondolin.tumblr.com/), if you need/want to talk.  
> First : english is not my mother language, and I apologize for typos and mistakes. I tried to proof-read, but I wrote it in a week while working for my exams, so I might have been too tired to notice. Sorry also if the ending seems a bit rushed (same reason).
> 
> The story is voluntarily light, and doesn't go deep into the main protagonists' feelings. This is exactly why I picked the POVs of the Company. I didn't want to get sidetracked by too much diging into Thorin and Bilbo's psyche. First because I didn't have the time, and second because there are other people who do that better than me, and other fics that explore it. Sorry, I unfortunately had to make a choice.
> 
> Just in case this is confusing :  
> Except Fili and Kili, nobody else in the Company is related to Thorin.  
> Oin is deaf. He has earing aid, but it tires him a lot, and as most of the Company knows how to sign, and he also can read lips rather well, he doesn't put them on most of the time. His earing loss appeared as he grew older, and it runs in his family. Bifur, on the other hand, is not deaf. He is mute because he had an accident which makes it extremely difficult for him to use oral language. He however didn't lose any of his motor skill, so he learnt how to sign instead (which is also helpful to talk with Oin, so it's win-win).  
> Bofur is asexual (because being asexual doesn't mean you can't make crude talking and I wanted to include it). For the rest of the Company (minus Thorin, Bilbo, and Fili), I didn't choose. Gloin and Bombur are supposed to be married with women, but I guess you can form your own headcanons.
> 
> Uh ... I think I have everything covered ? Fell free to message me on tumblr or leave a comment if you want more explanation, or just want to talk about this au. And before you ask : I don't plan on writing more about it. It was specificaly for the anniversary and I have so many things to do and write x)
> 
> edit- I know what I forgot to say ! Kili and Fili being instagram famous was largely inspired by the art of [cargsdoodles](http://cargsdoodles.tumblr.com/tagged/fee%26kee).


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